#sometimes I lie

[breadmp3]

sometimes i lie by Alice Feeney

[ghostinthegallery]

Life really is a race between whether my spouse shows me the Warhammer meme first or whether Tumblr shows me the Warhammer meme first

[secretdiscovery]

“There are three things I’ve cried about recently when nobody could see:”

1. Memories.

2. An episode of Big Bang Theory.

3. A nightmare I had last week.

[teenageread]

Review: Sometimes I Lie

Initial Thoughts: 

I honestly do not know what to say about this novel. Going into it I was intrigued by Amber, our unreliable narrator, who tells us within the first chapter that she lies and lies a lot. Alice Feeney has you questioning everything from Amber’s relationships, her childhood, her job, and who she is as a person. With her OCD-like tendencies (although never named), this novel has Amber trapped in either the past viva diaries, the current state of the coma, or remembering the weeks leading up to her tragic accident. And what a tragic event that was. Feeney did not hold back, and although the novel explains everything, and gives itself its own cliffhanger ending, the amount of “tragedies” that befell Amber makes this novel kind of comical. Feeney went from writing a believable-ish thriller to insanity, as Amber seems to experience all levels of human depravity within a week. Still, this novel had me hooked, not necessarily for the love of the characters, but for the plot. Those who read this novel, like me, have to finish it because I was truly invested in what happened to Amber, what she was actually lying about, and if she would wake from her coma.

Character:

This novel is told from the current-past-and very-past version of Amber, coma-conscious, recalling the previous month, and diary entries from childhood. Of these time variations only one Amber was likable, and the other two barely tolerable. Amber is so hard to like because our girl is doing and thinking crazy things, and it is hard to relate to her. Sure it's the unreliable narrator in her, but there is honestly nothing that she does that I can support. She is out to get Madeline at work, being a bad wife to Paul, and not a commutative sister to Claire. The only person Amber has a positive relationship with is Jo, and even that seems kind of one-sided. Amber is just straight-up not a good person which makes it hard to “root” for her, and feel sympathy as she tells her side of the story. The other characters are also not good people either, as Paul seems like the absent husband, Claire the self-obsessed sister, and Madeline… Well, I think Madeline was meant to be the villain, but she at least had a personality unlike Jo, Edward, or even Amber herself. Feeney did not do themselves any favors with this novel, as they seemed to be so focused on developing the liar narrator and the crazy twists to end the novel, they forgot to give Amber or anyone in her life a personality to keep the story flowing. Sure everything makes sense in due time, but the middle of this relatively short novel was a struggle as we bounced back and forth between Amber's whiny diary entries, her coma confusion, to the actual story which was what actually kept me going with this novel. 

Plot / Writing:

As I said, the characters were not what made this novel, but the plot, and even though it was over the top and comically tragic by the end; it was worth reading. Confused as I was throughout the majority of the story, I loved how Feeney made everything work in the end, each person having their own piece to Amber’s mastermind puzzle, and still giving us a little jump scare before the acknowledgments page. Feeney’s writing was decent, although confusing is the understatement of the novel. I think it was because Feeney was trying so hard to give us this major shock at almost the end of the novel, that it left the entire middle section of readers wondering how it was going to relate. All those diary entries that seem to go nowhere, currently Amber in a coma not actually contributing to the reader’s understanding. Still, the ending did not disappoint, and I am satisfied with it, despite the amount of thriller-spooky-action cliche that Feeny threw in.  

Conclusion: 

What drew me into this novel, the reason why I finished it, and why I would suggest others to read it - unreliable adult narrator. So often we get unreliable narratives of children with their innocent eye outlook on things. Not Amber. Amber is the one who is lying, to readers and herself, which is how she ended up in a coma. Truly an overachieve, this physiological thriller calls out to a unique taste, one that satisfied its genre well, despite none of the characters being likable. 

[greatwritenorth]

GWN Reviews: Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney 2.5 out of 5

This book... it felt like it was written just to provide the shocking ending, but that nothing before it really mattered. I was pretty sure that I could have skipped from about page 100 to the end of the novel, where the big reveals were, and everything still would make sense.

The "shocking twist" was a fairly decent twist, however, I was, unfortunately, bored up until that moment.

[sordiddmonk]

Bringing cumin in my bag to Ash Wednesday mass

[peoplesprincessgeorge]

People need to stop asking Oscar about hobbies please... His job is car, his special interest is car, he even used to be a car. He doesn't need anything more.

[mythicalcoolkid]

You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side

[yepthatsacowalright]

GOD it's only just hitting me the genius of using a dark room as the place where Maddy leaves tapes for Owen. The in-between place you use after capturing something of the outside world. Where you process it, develop it, craft it carefully into the story you want it to tell, before you're ready to bring it back out, to show the world how you see it. How tenuous that space is. How patient you must be in it. How it must be done in darkness. You cannot shine a light on it before you're ready. It will destroy everything. Brother, I am unhinged.

[st-hedge]

So Ganon huh *shakes like a caffeinated chihuahua*

[groovygrub]

[yayll]

~ a little something about Dazai slowly moving you in without you knowing ~

"Osamu, can I borrow a comb or something? I can't seem to find my hairbrush..."

You call out as you rummage through your duffle bag you brought to spend the weekend at his place. you do this as much as you can, it's lovely to spend time with the one you love... And also because he loses all sanity and rationality if he goes a few days without seeing you. You've been there before, and it's a nightmare for both you and anyone interacting with him. Poor baby!

He perks up, staring at you from across the room, chin resting on his palm and his eyes half-lidded. He's thinking about the day he hid that from you, along with a few other garments. He calls back, sounding scattered.

"Mm? Oh, you can borrow anything you want! Mine's behind the bathroom mirror."

"Okay!"

You open the mirror, and the shelf has not only your hairbrush, but one of your hair clips too. You tilt your head, calling back out.

"Nevermind! Found some of my stuff. Guess I left them here last time, heh."

He jumps at your new finding, quietly cursing himself for not hiding that before you came over. Dazai sighs deeply and immediately hops off the stool, beelining it to you. He clears his throat, playing dumb like the demon he is.

"Well, I think you should still use mine. Please, yours looks all old and yucky. If you keep using it all of your hair will fall out and you'll be bald and hate yourself for the rest of your life and nobody will want you! Except for me, of course~"

"... Um, I don't think so?"

"Well I do! Now, come on, let's get these silky locks in check."

He spins you around and immediately starts combing out your hair, humming a little tune to himself as he does so. He makes a mental note to hide the shirt and pajama shorts he kept last weekend too, that's for when he's alone at night. He also needs to make sure you willingly start leaving things, otherwise you'll freak if you're missing half your stuff. He's so gentle with you and having the time of his life, lightly dusting his fingers against the nape of your neck. He stifles a giggle behind that little smirk plastered on his face when you squirm a bit. He'll make sure you do it plenty of more times before you leave later. Maybe you'll finally beg like he's been wanting you to!

"There. All done."

He presses a soft kiss at the top of your head and you flash him a sweet smile. He could honestly pass out right there. And if he fell down, he'd be at your feet, and then he could be at your knees. Oh! And then you'd fuss over him and never leave his sight. And then... So so so cute...

You get a thoughtful look on your face, and turn to face him fully, popping his delusional little bubble.

"... Come to think of it, I feel like I always lose stuff at your place. You'll gather it for me if you find it, Osamu?"

At the mention of his name, he feels his entire body heat up. He blinks twice and tilts his head innocently. God, you look breathtaking when you're confused. He'll have to take a photo sometime for his album. You love posing for those, and he loves looking at you.

"Sure, but why don't you just... Leave things here from now on? You're here alllll the time, might as well just keep stuff here for safe keeping. I'll be the noble keeper of your things!"

You raise a brow, huffing into a laugh.

"Yeah? Is that what you want to be?"

His voice then becomes softer, needier, and dead serious. He stares right into your beautiful eyes, drowning himself in them. He mutters.

"For you, I'll be anything you want me to be. Afterall, I'm nothing more than a boy made of clay~"

You blush at that. Really hard. Amazing! he thinks. He reaches for your soft face that feels hot to the touch, cupping it inbetween his bandaged hands as he delicately rubs circles on your temples with the pad of his thumb. You wish you could look anywhere else right now because you're falling apart under him and he knows it.

"When you move in, you can do anything you want with the place. Especially with me."

"... Shouldn't we talk more about this another time?"

"Mmm no, not really."

He replies, his Hazelnut eyes go a little darker as he looks down at you.

"Hm, I think we should, cause you're too fast for me. You're like a Hare." You giggle as you say that, eyes twinkling.

"I like bunnies. I like you..."

He mumbles, going straight for your lips before you can say anything else.

Needless to say, you didn't get very far into the discussion after that. He wouldn't let that happen. And that's okay! He can adapt! He thinks he IS being a little pushy and a little too fast for your taste. He's sooo sorry, he'll take it slower next time. In between the sloppy kisses and the very indecent ways he uses his hands to toy with you, he desperately whispers in your ear one last time before he devours you fully.

"... We're staying together forever and ever, yeah?"

"Mmphhhmm..."

[secretdiscovery]

“Mrs. MacDonald says if we get stuck with what to write, we should just think of three honest things to say about ourselves. She says that everyone can think of three things and that being honest with yourself is more important than being honest with others. So, here are my first three things to share with you. They are all true.”

1. I’m 33.

2. I’m a huge procrastinator when it comes to non work related tasks I give myself.

3. Sometimes I don’t love myself.

[obae-me]

Lucifer: I had to leave my meeting with Diavolo for this. It better be important.

Asmo: We can't get MC to stop crying!

Mammon: Nothin' we say will help. You gotta do something!

Lucifer: Fine... MC, whatever is the matter?

MC: ...Cerberus will never-- will never get to experience the joy of sticking his little heads out of a car window on a drive...

Lucifer: ... ... ...

Mammon: Lucifer?

Lucifer: ... ... ...

Asmo: Oh dear... I think they're both sad now...

[lionbearfox]

the silly.... shes everything to me

[uncanny-tranny]

Love disabled people who just lie about their disabilities to nosy, intrusive questions. Sorry, yeah, I lost my arm in the wash one day. It's funny how that happens! Oh, I got back pain from saving nineteen children from a burning fire department <3